My favourite song

Don’t know whats right, what’s wrong
How can I not listen to my favourite song?

Whose lyrics fly me in the sky around
And my skin dances to it’s melodious sound

I lay down , close my eyes and go to a place
Where I wanted to play, dance and have my space

The music soothes me and takes the pain away
And I feel liberated and happy to feel this way

I swirl around my shoulders moving to the beat
There is nothing that can have me fixed in my seat

As my favourite song plays, loud and clear
Taking away all of my biggest fears

And I dance, enjoy and sing along
Hey, everyone, let’s listen to my favourite song!!!

Try

Try breathing,
Just try babe,Do you even know?
How does it feel to cry for no reason?
No specefic one, cause you feel like a prisoner.
Yearning for breathing fresh air,
Not allowed to scream the pain aloud or even do your prayer.
How do I live, how do I be the lady I dreamt of
Everything dizzies my head, makes me feel like the demon I was scared of
I am so alone, without any piece of happiness
How do I settle myself, I’m in sorrow and you dont even know
Why don’t you leave my side
Fly away your way and try
Succeed , love,live and not cry
I wish I could turn the trends and live my life
Own my style, do what I want to ; not only imagine but strive.

Young me

Smiling, smoking bright and so welcoming , I remember your face so vivid oh, young me.
Happy and full of energy you are coming nearby, oh mini me.
Tease me, make me laugh oh so bad
You’re the one that made me cringe but I felt glad
To have someone, so carefree around
To be my usual self, and play around
Shiny eyes, white theeth and a happy face I remember
Causal, inside talks felt so perfect in december
Come, let’s decide our plan for tommorow
Gonna fix the mistakes we did when we were hollow
I be your support, you be my strength
Come lets do wondering and be on our own
Why do we call each other, FRIEND.
Hope thats just not because of the TREND.
I’m feeling your eyes on me, turn to look back
Oh, there you are running towards my back
Heyy there!! You scream and I jump trying to see you clear
Puff.. I wake up and find myself in a dream, madness so sheer.

Mate

What did I do to deserve this heartbreak?
Did you even think of me as your mate?
Was it just my fantasy ?
Was it just an ecstasy?
Heard her calling your name infront of all
I thought I heard it wrong but no i was too small
To understand what you did to me
She kept saying your name
You left me nothing to claim
It burnt my heart in pieces
I feel enslaved in your love, still breathing.
I slept every night thinking I got your wack
You spent time having fun,now you tell me you’re back
Life?
Love?
Oh no, What did you say to gain my trust?
Enough! is all I wanna say, I don’t wana burst
In Tears so hot that’ll burn your soul
Into ashes so small that you’ll never do foul.

This year

This year of sorrow, the days filled with fear to live tommorow
I’ve breathed the air in and out of my lungs to keep fighting and stop being hollow
This year that took all I had in life,
Yet taught me the lesson to survive
It’s been so long. This year feels like never ending
The aura, the sadness, the emptiness feels like trending
This year, broken family, scattered emotions, has made me wait too long
Made me woke up to nothing everyday, such a sad song
This year, when nothing felt right
Flowers, butterflies nothing could bring light to my face oh so bright.
This year, only lessons learned and reality swept through
My veins all over, covering my body completely making me a different soul
This year, Oh, I’m here waiting this to pass
Hoping just hoping to get through this pain
This year of sorrow, the days filled with fear to live tommorow.

Hafsa

Survived

Sweet as flowers blossoming in the field
Protective as a strong iron sheild.
Your support-solid, firm and unmoveable
Your Love-mesmerizing divine and unmatchable.
I know you shine even brighter than the starlight,
If not in the world then in the hereafter.
I cherished your love for me throughout your life.
Losing you was like getting stabbed by a knife.
Only if I knew I had no time to share my feelings for you before you left.
l would have hardly slept to tell you what I felt.
I still cant forget them brown pupil of your eyes
Them brown pupil that yelled Help
I remember how you secretly cried to bed praying for your life
I promised you that you would be fine.
Read your positive reports to you,ensured you that you were all okay
I asked you if you felt pain.
You refused, saying you were still sane.
But your eyes screamed otherwise
Pain vivid in them brown pupils.
I wish I could be as strong as you were
But life doesn’t play fair, does it?
Sure it doesnt
If it did
I would probably have you now.
5 months Father. 5 whole months.
I’ve survived.

Beyond the sad forest

Is it the negativity inside me that’s killing my inner peace ?
Or just the other side of me , let me know please

You never expect bad things to happen to you
You never think life can be unfair to you too

But now that I have suffered this much
I’ve decided to survive but not trust

I want to see beyond the sad forest of my life
A place where i can live with my loved ones and smile

I want to smile in the most genuine way
With my heart filled with lots of love,
but happiness doesn’t comes in a tray

You realize Life isn’t fair one day
The day when you feel your nothing but just clay

So don’t lie to yourself in any way and just Say
Whatever’s the truth otherwise you’ll have to pay.

Me

I keep gazing at the part of my facebook homepage which says what’s on your mind.I feel that the real problem is that I don’t have anything on my mind. I wana think, look forward but my mind body and soul just don’t coordinate. Tears don’t fall when they are supposed to. To flow and lighten the weight of my heart. I just end up sitting somewhere in the corner feeling nothing.I never thought pretending would be so difficult. Everyday is a new challenge. Be it Keeping up my smiling face, managing the way I look or acting okay. anything..
I wish there was a shelter for me to go and stay for sometime. To have some time to myself just to process the things life has shown me.
It’s not that I’ve always been a person with all facilities. I’d faced some things in life too but never did i think that i would have to witness such things and undergo this phase in my life where I would feel so helpless, recked and broken. With no urge to live.
I feel sad that I couldn’t thank Allah for giving me those blessings in life when I had them. I feel devastated that I took everything for granted and never thought I would lose them.
Never did I think that every loved one has to die and leave you alone, never did I think life had another page to itself that wasn’t so beautiful and easy as the previous.
Now I realize, only Now that we don’t give importance to the blessings Allah has given us.
A healthy family. A complete family.
Until and unless its broken.
And ripped into pieces that are irreplaceable and can’t be fixed.

Emptiness

I wanna show you how badly I’m in need of love
Oh, I wish this wouldn’t happen to me, Please help me cope.

I’m tired of getting through these emotions,
Emptiness drooling over my soul like slow poison potions.

All I needed was your presence and the love you gave.
Insensitiveness is now the only thing I chase.

I’ve forgot how It felt to be secure
The torment is something more than just woe

I can’t find anything to sooth my turmoil
The discomfort is burning like a blazing foil

Saw you in my dream last night
Woke up and felt so damn light

You’d always been there for me Dad
I wish life gave me the chance to stand by you too, now i feel so sad.

I hope you’re alright and doing good
Afterall that’s what I want from God.

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